Canada in Shock as Mugger Forgets to Apologise After Punching Old Lady in the Face

Carnage in Canada…

In a case that has rocked the Canadian population to its very core, a man in Alberta, Canada has been nicknamed the “Beast of Banff” after punching an old lady in the face during a mugging, and neglecting to say “sorry.”

The victim, 76-year old Diana Stokes described the event as “horrendous… demonstrating a complete lack of civility.” She continued “I understand the mugging and the punch, but there wasn’t even the merest hint of an apology. Where are we headed as a nation?”

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who hastily returned from a meeting with the European Union to deal with the outcry, described the incident as “an outrage, a national tragedy. It is completely un-Canadian.”

When asked about the event, an American tourist who witnessed the incident from a nearby coffee-shop, look stunned and could only utter the word “wut?” clearly traumatised by what he had seen.

The perpetrator remains at large but is no doubt draped in shame.

Swift justice has been demanded by the people, and the Canadian Court of Public Opinion has already tried and convicted the absent offender and sentenced him to a lifetime of public shunning, and derisory looks; Canada’s equivalent of the death penalty.

A national day of mourning good manners is planned. Swift justice in Canada.

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James "The Splash" Pool
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