Vegans! Barbaric vegans, with their holier-than-thou attitude, continue to threaten the wellbeing of endangered animals by eating their food supply.
Vegans, with their savage apetite and grab-all-you-can attitude, have been snapping up fruits and vegatables at a relentless pace that the animal kingdom is struggling to keep up with.
Animal biologists around the world are complaining of depleted animal food sources as western vegans get fat on the (literal) fruits of their labour.
A rescued mountain gorilla, (pictured above) who has been taught sign language, asked “why are they doing this?” He then shook his rolled (but not clenched) hand, as if to say, “wankers”
Now, an action group has been formed to combat the threat vegans pose to animals.
Named the “Society Against Vegan’s Animal Global Extinction Strategy” or “S.A.V.A.G.E.S.” they have promised to battle against the threat posed by the spread of the vegan ideology, claiming “It’s a cult! A dirty self-serving cult.”
A spokesperson for the group said, “We will not rest until every vegan understands the impact of their selfish and deplorable choice to invade and claim the animals only source of food.
Another member claimed, “Veganism is not a lifestyle… It’s a deathstyle… for these innocent animals.”
Meanwhile vegans (notoriously the angriest members of society) refused to be interviewed for this article.
The battle for the animal’s food is heating up. The battle for animal rights, is just beginning.